“Whenever two people meet, there are really six people present. There is each man as he sees himself, each man as the other person sees him, and each man as he really is.” ― William James
Adversity is not always rational, often appearing when it is least expected. It is not something to be achieved or conquered. Rather, it is a process of learning, acceptance, and reconciliation.
Adversity is often preceded by absurdity. That is, experiences that are senseless or illogical. Because sometimes bad things happen to good people and sometimes good people do bad things.
Responding to adversity requires resiliency and how you respond to adversity is directly associated with your willingness to identify and change what is not working in your life, especially when criminal charges are involved.
“Becoming the person we are meant to be can only happen by accepting who we are and what we have done and has happened to us. Through acceptance we make traumatization a part of, rather than apart from us.” Scott Lee – PTSD: Get Over It
If you are stuck in a dysfunctional pattern and unable to change what is not working in your life, perhaps you have a case of the A.S.S. (arrogant stupidity syndrome), which is marked by:
- Confusion – attempts to “understand” or make sense of past experiences and is unwilling to take action to change
- Secrecy – refuses to share personal experiences or communicate with others and lacks purpose
- Deception – blames people, places, or things for current circumstances
“If you want to lessen the consequences of your traumatic responses, then share with someone who can help you process the absurdity of your war trauma.” Scott Lee – Mental Health Emergencies
To learn from, accept, and reconcile the adversity in your life; to prevent a case of the A.S.S. and get your life moving again:
LEARN TO IMPROVISE: know who and where you are as you journey through life – be curious and seek solutions by composing your life as you go along.
LEARN TO ADAPT: change what is not working in your life – solicit assistance from others by communicating openly and honestly.
LEARN TO OVERCOME: be decisive, committed, and take action – demonstrate accountability for your actions.
Doing these three things will increase resiliency and increase your chances of sustaining long-term changes in your life.